You have to feel for Arfur Daley working at the Red Bull factory, he’s concocted a cushy £80k a year salary being the bloke who designs and builds front-wing endplates. At countless meetings, strategy groups and trials he has to fudge the numbers to justify their expense when actually they’re just made of papier mache covering up smushed together fag butts.
And then Max Verstappen ruins it by sniffing Lance Stroll’s behind like a bitch in heat and before we know it Arfurs ruse is scattered all over the track.
But no, we all cry, Max has ruined his race because these cars are so aero dependant there’s no way he can… what? He’s fine?
Cut to Arfur filling his pockets with paperclips and nespresso pods before leaving the factory to be never seen again.
If a chunk of a car can fall off and the car not be affected then surely that chunk of car was not necessary. I thought the point of F1 was efficiency over everything. It’s all a bloody con. I’m starting to wonder if aerodynamics is even a thing, I mean we’re told it is and there are those pretty pictures with a baffling array of colours that out science us like an Aniston hair ad, but no one really gets it.
How do they test aero? They cover cars with fluorescent paint and watch the patterns, and because we as f1 fans have to feel intelligent we stroke our chins and go hmm, yes that makes sense. NO IT DOESN’T - they might as well be reading bloody tea leaves.
Even in Adrian Newey’s book there’s a chapter where he basically goes, look I haven’t got a clue how it works, I just draw lines and then six months later there’s a car, I thought I was designing a boat.
IT’s a scam, a conspiracy, it’s the MSM and the deep state elites holding back F1 from what it used to be, a sport for the masses, back in the day when anyone with a peerage, a rich dad or an oil field underneath their country could take part, now it’s just greedy manufacturers with a vested interest in keeping the little people down. After the flat earthers comes us, the aero-deniers.
Don't worry, I have a solution
I’ve conducted some tests in the garden I don’t have and have proved that aerodynamics don’t exist. I will be building a rocket that will fail to take off thereby showing, beyond any doubt that F1 is a fake thing filmed for cameras and doesn’t really happen.
After my shocking revelations which you can read in my badly spelled ebook I hope that F1 will get rid of all aero and we can have some decent racing. Like in that historic Monaco race where all the cars were driven at about a mile an hour for insurance reasons