Let's face it, it's about time we all properly admitted it. Monaco is shit. Yes it's glamorous, yes swanky deals are done. But you can have glamour without a race and do the deals in a strip bar like any other self respecting businessman
This weekend there were two races, in Monaco nothing happened until Button tried to do a challenge from Record Breakers on wehrlein “How far can you push someone on two wheels - here’s Kris Akabusi” and then there was Indy, where arguably too much happens all the time, apart from when it doesn’t.
But, they say, Monte Carlo is the jewel in the crown of f1. And like a jewel, it looks pretty, costs a lot, is mostly associated by fat balding men (Hi, Prince Rainier!), and basically does nothing of any use.
It's the total failure of this years f1 redesign where tyres are fat, the cars are wider and harder to drive and yet no one bins it into the barriers.
Moanaco - as I’ll call it from now on, or Moan-ar-co if you’re Stirling Moss only works if it rains or if a series of drivers connect with the armco.
What kind of damning indictment of F1 is it that both Stroll AND Palmer manage to complete the race without once losing a wheel? Pathetic.
What’s worse is it’s one of the races that “non fans” watch because it’s so famous. So every year we’ll have some people thinking - I’ll give this a go - only to watch an hour and a half of tedium
Don't worry, I have a solution
Two words. Mario. Kart. If we can’t get rid of Monaco because of it’s significance then we have to make it more exciting. Let’s have the barriers gently sweeping in and out of the track, remove that pesky wall next to the harbour and if you fall in have a special bonus level underwater where you can earn gold stars.
I’m not really advocating giant missiles to race around the track but if we have DRS and Formula E’s fanboost already then we may as well go the whole hog and have a special weapon button that drivers can press to cause the other car to slow down (sponsored by Honda) or reverse steering or anything fun.
This isn’t for every race because most of the other are actually quite good. But if monaco looks dull, bring out Mario!