Sebastian Vettel did a naughty thing on Sunday - aside from the thousands of idiots on the internet who have a single jpeg between them that is not in doubt. But what should happen next? He’s off to a tribunal where they will decide if a ten second stop and go penalty is enough or whether he should have the book thrown at him, or rather whether they should take both hands off the book absolve all responsibility when it hits him.
He could be stripped of points from Baku, even given a race ban like what they used to in the old days. This is a close championship and, perhaps rightly, a lot of people will be pissed off if it’s decided by a points margin equalling the punishment. But then again is it acceptable to do something really fucking dangerous under safety car conditions when there are marshals on the track clearing up debris? Answer? Who fucking knows - like all what ifs the problem is there were no marshalls there and if there was then it probably wouldn’t have happened - it’s a silly argument. Also, it could have been worse, but wasn’t - if it had damaged Lewis’ car out of the race I’d imagine there would have been more uproar, but it didn’t.
In fact, if the headrest was on properly this would actually have less uproar. Swings, roundabouts and old metal scissors.
But here we are and what do we do? How do we punish Seb and why?
Don't worry, I have a solution
I know, you're expecting me to be all silly and say his ferrari at the next three races has to have “I’m an idiot” in giant letters, or he has to chauffeur lewis to an event or do a race with a honda engine. But I’m actually going to be semi serious here - we have a simple rule in FF1S, don’t be a dick. We hate Joyless Palmer not just becuase he’s terrible, there have been many terrible drivers, it’s because he’s so unwilling to accept the fact. We were not Alonso fans until he was in a shit car and got all sassy.
Whether a moment of hot headedness or a deep aggressive character flaw, what Vettel did on Sunday was a dick move, he then further compounded his dick by refusing to even admit he’d done anything wrong. If he’d apologised and said it was heat of the moment then fine. But he hasn’t so therefore the official FF1S proposed punishment is the strongest we can mete out: execution.